Our duty as parents is to teach our children to channel their emotions productively. It is important that we teach them the importance of controlling themselves and being empathetic with others. Emotional intelligence is used to develop your intelligence and behave correctly. That is why it is considered that emotional education is part of the child’s formation.
According to specialists, today parents can learn to know if their child has matured emotionally and how to encourage the development of their emotional intelligence.
But how can we know for sure if the child has matured emotionally? There are many situations that can tell us if a child is not maturing emotionally. A clear example is tantrums or whims. They are typical at 2 years of age, but when he is older and does not behave otherwise, this indicates that he has an emotional maturity problem.
To develop emotional intelligence, we must have the basic pillars. First you understand what your own emotions are, how do you feel? What makes you angry? Is it real anger or just a tantrum?
The second step is to explore the emotions that others experience, in this way he will begin with our help to find the necessary balance to identify what is happening to him, in this way he will learn to control and self-regulate.
Something fundamental is learning to express oneself and channel emotions in a positive way, so that they strengthen the relationship with the child. Depending on the age of the child, emotional capacities have to increase. Emotions have a development time that lasts the entire life cycle, although for obvious reasons when it occurs at an early age it is much better, in fact there are studies that tell us that from the age of 2 and a half, it is advisable to educate the emotions. emotions that will later influence his whole life.
The main thing is that children begin to think about their emotions, that they know how they feel and detect how others feel. Helping them with this will make them channel emotions in a positive way, favoring empathy, kindness and other determining traits. Teaching them to make friends with other children and to treat them well are fundamental things for a good early development that will last throughout their lives.
When it comes to young children, it is advisable to give them very short sentences, more actions and less talk. Parents are the main source of learning for them. The behavior that we have will have to be in line with the behavior that we want it to have. When they are older we can begin to be more reasonable with them, although it is not convenient at the time of the tantrum. When they are calm and relaxed. That moment is key to indicate the importance of speaking, communicating feelings. So that both can communicate and teach him to transmit what happens to him. Emotions are a fundamental part of our lives and everyday life. Knowing how to control them, and using them with adequate skill allows us to face our day to day more effectively.
Instructions for applying emotional intelligence in children
In order to apply emotional intelligence to our children, we must take into account the three pillars that are emotion, thought and action. Hence the importance of delving into this type of knowledge. Teaching our son to face new situations and to be able to order them is an important step for him to act efficiently throughout his life.
Knowledge, understanding and control of our own emotions is the basics for our children to function properly in society, from here we can give you these tips so that you can help them enter the world of emotional intelligence.
- Recognizing basic emotions: The recommended age to start children in the field of emotion recognition is the age of two. When they begin to interact with adults and other children, we can begin to stimulate them with various exercises. For example, introduce them to recognize the most basic emotions: fear, joy, sadness, anger. A good way to achieve this is through drawings, ask questions like what is wrong with this child? What do you think happened to him? Why? It’s a good way to start getting them to recognize their own emotions and those of others.
- Help him develop empathy: When it comes to developing such an important emotion, it is necessary to reason with them by asking questions and talking with him. The questions that can help us are of the type: How do you think the father feels about what you said? Why is your brother crying? Do you think I’m happy?
- Anger management: Until after a year and a half, children need affection and care from their parents. All of this gives them the security they need to explore and master their fears. From 6 months they will begin to develop feelings of anger. Hence the importance of knowing how to channel reactions and correct them in the face of any wrongdoing.
- Start them in secondary emotions: 10-year-old children begin to feel secondary emotions that will gain more weight in their lives, such as love, shame, anxiety. It is appropriate to know how to talk to them, allow them to express their doubts and fears, create an atmosphere of trust with their parents.
- Know how to name the emotions: From the age of 5 is the ideal age for children to start naming emotions on a regular basis, such as: “I’m happy because you gave me a gift”, “I’m angry because you left me alone”, ”I feel like playing because that makes me happy”.
- Opening to the expression of emotions: It is essential that we provide our children with the appropriate security so that they can convey out loud what worries them or what bothers them. The school, the home, a sports club, are going to be the places where he develops his daily life. We must ensure that you feel safe to express yourself comfortably in each environment. Also that they learn to respect the contexts where they are, talk with him about what is okay to say at school, and what should only be said at home.
- Develop the communication: Talk to them, ask them questions, propose games, tidy up the environment where they live in a reasonable way. They are all essential elements in their education. We must support them so that they can express their opinion and feelings out loud. That they always put the dialogue before everything else.
- The importance of knowing to listen: From a young age we must teach them to be silent when others speak and listen to them when they want to express themselves. It is always advisable to give them their space so that they feel heard, but also, limits must be set with dialogues so that they know when they should speak and when not.
Tips for applying emotional intelligence in children
Emotional intelligence in children is a great conditioner of our behavior, it can influence our adult lives in many ways. Its early application can make us integrated or excluded people. It all depends on the way we handle them.
As it is with any other type of learning, emotions are the cause of determining our way of facing life. The pillars of emotion, thought and action are essential for everything we do daily.
Control of emotions, empathy, our level of understanding of ourselves. Everything can be essential for our future, if this fails, we become unhappy people in social misfits. When it comes to our children, to understand and manage them, we must have his emotions present at all times. Since childhood is crucial for the management and control of them.
In addition to the tips already given previously, it is necessary to take into account the following tips.
- Dialogue: it is essential that emotions can be transferred to dialogue, so that the child learns to reason everything that surrounds him.
- Although for adults emotions are something difficult to control at certain times, for children it is much worse. Since they do not have the previous experiences to learn to control this type of situation. That is why we must help him to understand what is happening, to identify what he is feeling and to be able to convey it in the best possible way.
- Sometimes some children have non-existent emotional control. They are irascible and irritable, they cannot be denied anything because they are used to being pampered. They are fragile and irritable in the face of failure, responding aggressively and hostilely. These reactions are detrimental to the child, since they will only limit him in the future. It will be very difficult for him to integrate into a peer group, and he may even feel depressed.
- Teaching him to feel empathy towards other children, people, animals is a great way to help him deal with other people’s emotions, which allows him to be more considerate and better fit into society.
- Emotional intelligence helps you understand that dialogue is the basis of everything, that you can be attentive, and it gives you positive emotions towards your life. Once he can transmit what is happening to him, studies have shown that a child who knows how to deal with his emotions is less prone to addictions. People with little control and emotional tolerance are often the most defenseless and susceptible to falling into the world of addictions.
- Understanding your emotions will help you throughout your life to control and tolerate what you feel, as well as the emotions of those around you. He learns to be less aggressive or to have unwanted reactions.
- Do not resort to punishment, instead, invite him to reflect with you when he behaves inappropriately. Tell him how you feel, ask him how he feels, what kind of emotions led him to behave that way and how he can deal with it together with you in the future. Offer him alternatives that involve positive behaviors to improve his thinking and acting.