Branding is human and of course, the ability to forgive is also human. Many times the people who love us, or ourselves with them, mess up with our actions and we are not able to forgive. This happens in most cases because forgiving is not only a word, but also an attitude, an action that must be accompanied by the end of disputes and the clarification of problems. Sometimes, even, our guilt is so deep in the face of the damage that we have caused to another loved one, that it is difficult for us to forgive ourselves.
Well, this attitude has to go. It is important to learn to forgive and to be forgiven, it is a way to maintain healthy and healthy relationships with the people around us, and also to improve these relationships and take them to a much higher level of trust.
Where does the word forgive come from?
The word forgive comes from the Latin, “per”, which means to do something insistently, repeat it many times, and the word “donare”, whose meaning is to give, donate. Therefore, the word forgive, etymologically, means giving something many times, freely and abundantly. Gives a lot to think about, right?
Currently, the word forgive is used to refer to an act by which the fault that a person has committed towards ourselves is forgotten. This action implies not holding a grudge against the other person and not taking into account any debt or that said person incurs an obligation towards us.
Do you want to know how to forgive?
Knowing how to forgive is one of the simplest things in the world, although putting it into practice can be somewhat costly. We have to love ourselves and others, respect and value ourselves, before we are able to forgive. If the acts we commit, or that a person we love comments towards us, are not explained and forgiven, they will end up becoming a barrier between us and our loved ones that over the years can become something insurmountable. Don’t allow a relationship of many years to be ruined by not being able to forgive. We are going to give you the keys so that you learn to do it and be much happier. You will see how, knowing how to forgive, your personal relationships will be much more lasting, affable, close and real. Let’s get started!
What do you need to forgive?
To know how to forgive we are going to need:
- Loving ourselves and loving others.
- Be able to listen.
- Being able to forget and not hold grudges.
- Read the next post.
- Having close to a loved one who has hurt us (so we must forgive them) or who we have hurt (so we will have to forgive ourselves and get the other person to forgive us too).
Instructions to forgive
Step by step to know how to forgive:
- Our first advice is to think calmly and calmly about the situation that has developed and for which you have to forgive someone, be forgiven or forgive yourself. Sometimes, in the heat of a discussion, things are said that are not felt. This happens because when we are nervous, when we feel attacked, we attack too and try to protect ourselves by doing damage. Unfortunately, it is a very human attitude that you have to know how to control, because the benefit of winning an argument sometimes means harming a person you love by saying or doing something you don’t really feel.
- Allow a prudential time for both parties to relax. When we have had a strong discussion, it is normal for both parties to get upset and end up losing their temper. In this situation, it is best to try to be cool enough to stop the discussion and relax for a few minutes to be able to talk calmly with the other person again. If you keep the conversation at a high stress level you will not be able to calm yourself, calm those around you or get anything clear.
- Take the first step. Don’t wait for the other person to come to you. The more time passes, the more difficult it is to maintain relationships due to the advances that occur on a daily basis: work, obligations, our children…, everything overloads us with activities that serve as the perfect excuse to let things go and not give the first step. The problem with this attitude is that you will probably end up losing a lot of people along the way if you always wait for the other to approach you to resolve conflicts. Our advice is not to wait. Pride is useless in relationships with your loved ones. Think about what is more important, get closer to the person you have hurt or have hurt you or wait for her to come? It is likely that the other person feels so bad that she is not able to do it. And meanwhile,
- Talk about what has happened. At all times in our lives, when we are upset and have a conflict with another person, we only consider one half of the version: ours. It is important to end conflicts to understand why they have happened and what has led to them. What was the other person thinking and what were you thinking? Talk about things to know the reason for the discussion. In most cases you will feel very stupid when you see that it was probably a misunderstanding or that the other person is also partly right. You always have to empathize in life!
- Apologize and accept the apology, but mean it. Once each one of you has explained your part and you have listened to each other calmly, the most logical thing is that both parties realize the mistakes and feel bad and frustrated, even worse, for having harmed the other person. Do not forget that in an argument the most common thing is that both parties are damaged, so it is logical that you apologize to each other. Apologizing or asking for forgiveness doesn’t mean just saying it. You have to really feel it for it to work. If you just say it but don’t lead by example, without holding grudges and moving forward with a strengthened relationship, before long your problem will come up again because you haven’t been able to solve it. Acknowledging by both parties the fault that has been had means empathizing with the other person, Put yourself in their shoes and understand the damage that has been done. Asking for forgiveness is a way to acknowledge your mistake and to fix it from that moment on.
Tips to forgive
One last piece of advice on knowing how to forgive:
As we said, it is important that forgiveness is real. It will not help if you hold a grudge inside or believe that the other person is in your debt for what they have done to you. If you have not been able to internalize what the other person has told you and what you have done, it is because you have not spoken enough and you have not clarified the damage and the concepts well. Talk as much as necessary with the other person until both parties are satisfied. From the moment you truly forgive yourself, you will see how your personal situation improves and you understand the other person a little better.