All people have values, more or less developed, but they are there. Values are qualities of people such as solidarity, camaraderie. Some values are honesty, love, discipline, compassion but there are not only positive values, there are also negative ones such as envy, greed, rancor… The first you have to look for and develop them and the second ones, avoid them.
It is much easier to learn it from a young age, when we are sponges and we incorporate everything, but we must not give up. Nobody is born with values, those are learned over time and some are on the right track but others only keep negative values. If you intend to instill values, you will first have to eliminate the negatives so that he understands the benefits of the positives.
Teachers and parents try to instill many values in children, such as education with other people. It is not always easy, but here are some guidelines on how to instill values.
Instructions to instill values
- To instill values you must have them, otherwise it will be very complicated for you. And it is not enough to just have them, but the person you are trying to instill them in must see that you have them. You must serve as an example for her.
- Teach him the positives of exercising the values you are trying to instill in him. For example, if you want him to be polite, show him that when you say thank you or ask for things, please, people respond in kind. Or that if you are supportive you feel better about yourself.
- Teach him that he will not always receive something in exchange for exercising a value, and that is that for this the rest of the people would also have to have those values instilled.
- Run those values in front of the person and show them what happens when you don’t exercise them, so they see the advantages and disadvantages.
- Choose the values that you want to instill in him and make a list of the advantages and disadvantages of exercising it, the person must see that there are many advantages and very few inconveniences or negative things.
- Ask him how he feels after exercising the values, he himself will realize that now he does things much better and feels good.
- Many times the lack of values comes from the lack of information, so encourage him to read and learn.
- Be a teacher at all times, answer his doubts, clarify his confusion and get him to adhere to or develop those values that we all have.
- When he exercises a value appropriately, for example, respecting the elderly or making room for people who need it on the subway, or simply being nice and saying good morning to the people you come across, acknowledge it. Let him see that he is doing well, if he will not return to the point where he was before because he will not believe that he is advancing.
Tips for instilling values
- Even if other people don’t have values or don’t execute them, you don’t have to do the same. If they don’t thank you, if they don’t ask for forgiveness these are basic things that you are doing, but if you don’t receive them back, don’t delete them, you keep exercising your values.
- It is not the same to have them than to carry them out. Some other value costs more than another, for example sincerity. Carry out all the values that you know you have and you will end up feeling that you are a better person.
- It is a slow process, and more as age increases, but do not despair. The important thing is to put effort into it and it may cost you at first and it may not come naturally to you, but over time you will see how it doesn’t cost you anything. Think that being kind does not suggest any effort and you can brighten the day of other people, either with this value or with others.
- Think about how you would like to be treated. If you wanted people to profess love to you, to be honest with you, to be compassionate… and from that point of view, he thinks that this is how you should act, in the same way that you would like others to treat you. You would not want anyone to leave you alone in a difficult moment for you, you would like them to show solidarity with you, so when you think it is necessary, act in solidarity because you never know when the opposite could happen and you are the one who needs help from the rest.
- Learning the values and carrying them out will help you to be a better person and feel better about yourself. Even if there are times when your actions do not have positive effects because other people do not behave in the same way, it does not matter. Think that not all people have all the positive values instilled and that it will be more difficult for some than others, you think of yourself and always act in the best possible way.
What do you need to instill values?
- Willpower
- Help from the people around you