Every day divorce cases are more common in our country. As a consequence, many people with children begin to have new relationships later. A very common question then arises: how to treat my partner’s children? This is a very common and understandable question since it is never easy to deal with this type of relationship. In many cases we fear that our partner’s children will not like us or that they will not accept us.
Of course each situation changes and depends a lot on the children’s own relationship with their parents. In addition, it is not the same if we are dealing with small children as if we are dealing with adolescents. Something very common is that children do not like their father’s or mother’s new partner too much, since this affects their concept of family. This is completely normal and you should not give it more importance than it deserves. Children often find it difficult to face changes in their environment and therefore you must be patient and go very little by little without forcing them to accept you.
A couple of tips that can be very useful for you
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Another issue that you should keep in mind is that you are the adult in the relationship. Obviously, children or adolescents can show childish behavior, but you should not fall for it, since you should behave as the responsible party in the relationship and try to understand your partner’s children and make yourself understood by them. Below we offer you a series of tips so that you try to answer the question that torments you: how to treat my partner’s children.
Instructions for treating my partner’s children
- Respect the relationship of your partner and their children: For your partner’s children it is very important to feel that you are not competing with them. Therefore you must give them and your partner all the space they need.
- Respect your partner’s ex: Another very important issue is to respect the other parent of the children. It is very probable that your partner is resentful towards him/her but you should not get involved in these issues and even less in front of the children. You must make it very clear to them that you do not intend to replace anyone and you should not criticize this person either. If you do, your partner’s children may understand that you are attacking or trying to replace their father/mother and they will not like that at all.
- Look for common interests: a good idea to try to win the sympathy of your partner’s children is to try to be interested in their hobbies. Try to find out more about the things they like and share it with them.
- Talk to them: on many occasions we think that children are not very receptive to dialogue, but this is not true at all. Although their conversations are not entirely similar to ours, it is very important to talk to them. You don’t have to pick a serious topic or try to talk about your relationship. Just talk to them, take an interest in their life and their hobbies, and let them tell you what they want. In this way you will strengthen your friendship and trust.
- Don’t be too permissive: A fairly common mistake when trying to get your partner’s children to like you is to be too permissive with them. This is a mistake. If you get used to it, they will end up taking advantage of the situation and trying to get everything they want through you. This can also spoil your relationship with your partner since to some extent you can also intercede in your partner’s authority if he/she forbids something and you allow it.
Tips for dealing with my partner’s children
- Do not be sad. You are dealing with children or adolescents, which will require a lot of patience. With children things do not happen from one day to the next. They have to get used to you very little by little, so you should not expect immediate changes. Use all the patience you have and always try to treat them with respect, humor and warmth. It is normal that sometimes they test you to see where your limits are and challenge you. You shouldn’t get angry with them but you should be firm.