One of the terms that we have borrowed from Anglo-Saxon has become sadly known due to the proliferation of these behaviors in our society, and worst of all, commonly spread among our youth, girls and boys. Let’s start by defining what bullying or bullying is. This term means, and I extract directly from English “to use superior force or influence to intimidate someone, usually by forcing them to perform a certain action.”
Looking at this definition, we can see that the use of force is motivated by the need to force another person to perform some action in a non-voluntary way. If we transfer this term to our language we find the following definition for harassment: “to insistently urge someone with discomfort or requirements”.
It seems that, in view of both definitions, the term in Spanish is something less violent, like a substitute for its equivalent in English. It could be understood that the term urgency implies a little less violence than when we say to use superiority or force.
In short, whenever we force another person to carry out an action against their will, exercising any type of violence, be it physical or mental, we are crossing the border not only of what is legally permitted, but also of what is morally acceptable.
Instructions
- Any manifestation of violence exerted towards another person must be punished in all its manifestations. We cannot allow the fact that an individual, taking advantage not only of his physical superiority, but also of his social status or his economic situation or religious position, tries to impose his criteria with the sole purpose of personal gain.
- Our educational centers are unfortunately the perfect reflection of the society in which they are immersed. When we talk about an educational center, we are not referring to a place where students, male students, and teachers carry out their duties during a certain number of hours. It is not the factory where they “snack” and return home to rest from the working day and to be fresh to start the next one. We cannot consider this place as a factory, an office or an assembly line. We are talking about people and education.
- A school is a society, or a micro society if we want to call it that, which cannot feel outside the macro society where we all live. In this group of people there must be a series of norms, formed by the basic rights and duties, which guarantee a coexistence based on the mutual respect of its members. These rules must be complied with by all levels of school life, not only by students, but also by teachers, management and administration and services staff. Everyone, who forms and helps the growth of this society, must abide by and respect these rules, sine qua non, coexistence would turn into violence and abuse.
- As I said at the beginning, a school is nothing but the reflection of society and as every reflection takes from the original, the worst. In this case, violence, abuse, deceit, greed and indiscriminate arrogance.
- Bullying, or bullying as it is called these days, is something that has existed at all times. There has always been that older student who has abused her power against the smallest or weakest. Because school bullying is not limited to going against younger students, but it goes against anyone who feels or shows greater weakness in their ability to relate to others.
What do you need:
At present we are witnessing bullying situations almost daily, such as that which occurs in companies, the so-called workplace harassment. And the bad thing about all this is that human beings somehow become so exposed to these situations on a daily basis that they learn, as a consequence, to live turning a deaf ear to these violations of human rights. It is not an exaggeration, but a finding based on what we are capable of enduring and seeing as normal. Or is it not true that when we turn on the television and we see the news of the large number of deaths caused by an attack in countries that are not so “main and close”, are we able to see it without any remorse or concern? This is the reality, the human being has become permissive, has become accustomed to these displays of violence, to this massacre of the basic rights of life. We have become “pasotas” as long as it does not affect our life, our tranquility or our comfortable and conformist existence.
It is so, and this is what we cannot get to with the issue of bullying. Because what they learn to live, experience or suffer in their school life is what they will bring to the society of which they will become adults in the future and in this way we will continue living the most destructive facet of the human being.
We must seek solutions to school bullying in our centers. And this is not a task of a collective or a group of people. It’s everyone’s job. From the students themselves, teachers and teachers and especially families.
The education of our sons and daughters is not something typical of the school day. It is not the exclusive task of the teachers and the management team of the center where they are enrolled. It is everyone’s task and the family plays a very important role (you may be interested in this article on how to have a happy family) and decisive in all this trajectory of formation of young people. From a very young age our children are sponges that absorb all kinds of behaviors, words, looks, tones of voice, movements and details of ourselves that, even if they go unnoticed, they capture them and worst of all, they imitate them even if they are negatives. We must take care of the details and demand the same professionalism that we demand of their teachers. It is very easy to arrive at the school and, loudly, try to solve a misunderstanding that has occurred with our children. Let’s not pretend that our children learn to solve setbacks in a dialogue and serene way.
Patience, wisdom, virtuosity, creativity and above all talk to them, be eloquent and never stop listening. All these terms are qualities that humans should put into practice in our daily life. Our children will become the future workers, leaders, politicians, doctors, waiters, cooks. They will become the society of the future, which will be none other than the one that we have bequeathed to them.
The prevention of bullying is not simply complaining about the problems that our society suffers from. Because society, that word that we like to use so much to talk about the problems of others, is formed by each and every one of us without exception. We are all responsible for the problems we experience on a daily basis, just as we should all be proud of the progress we can make and achieve.
If we pull a rope to opposite sides, it will end up breaking no matter how strong and resistant it is. Our sons and daughters are like that rope that we pull from two opposite poles, the family and the school. Each one pulls for his side, each one exerts the force that he believes is necessary to teach them, each side pulls because he thinks that his facet is the only and most important one in education. Imagine that we have a boat loaded with heavy stone blocks floating on the sea. It may float but it may not move. If each one pulls on one side, it will continue to float but static. However, if we stand on the same side and pull it, no matter how heavy the load, we will manage to make it float and navigate.
These are our sons and daughters, boats with a very heavy load on their backs, growing up, maturing, getting a job in an increasingly dehumanized society, learning manners and civic behavior as well as social, language, English and a series of subjects that do not know in most cases what it will serve them. With this heavy load, yes, they manage to float, they manage to arrive alive, but static. They do not move from their place and they cannot unload that heavy burden that we impose on them. Therefore, it should not surprise us that his way of exploiting all this is different depending on his education, his ability to open up to the world, or the experiences he had in his earliest childhood. Some will do it by being abusers and others will end up being harassed.
And at that moment we find ourselves with the two extremes pulling us, the educational center and the family. If we put ourselves in front of them, and push their hopes, their problems, their dreams forward, we will get them to move forward, to open up, to tell us, to take a step and not only to float, but also to navigate towards their future.
The causes of bullying are not something to be solved in two days, much less to be solved separately between families and the school. It is something that we must modify from childhood to prevent it before it happens. And when it has happened, as is the case with our present, then take action on the matter.
How can we solve something that is already in our centers on a daily basis? Well, the solution does not lie in simply punishing for the actions committed, it does not lie in the corrections after everything has happened, it does not even lie in taking the harassed student and putting them in a bubble, changing their center or hiding them at home. Obviously it is the solution that best relieves us and helps us believe that we avoid a greater evil. But that young person who has been harassed has generally been harassed because they have noticed a weakness in him or her and that is where we have to work. It is on this weakness that we have to focus to make them learn to face situations that unfortunately are more common every day in all areas of our lives and not only in educational centers. We have to get that boy or girl to learn to be strong, to know how to handle dangerous situations that may arise at any time. No one is prepared to face a situation of this magnitude like feeling harassed. No one is born knowing what to do in a situation of social or personal injustice. Our first feeling is that of frustration and from there, we either overcome it or fall and become victims.
Therefore, there is the key to turning our children, our students into strong people, with character, critics and above all prepared for the contingencies that may appear in their daily lives.
School bullying is not something that we are going to eradicate from one day to the next, but it is something that we can make disappear from our centers and from there from our vocabulary. Let’s not let this situation continue and be mere spectators until it touches us in our lives.
Tips
- First, educate our sons and daughters from an early age in solidarity, camaraderie, self-improvement, strength, education and above all coexistence. And all this from our model attitude of knowing that we are examples to imitate, of ultimately being good parents. This article may interest you on how to teach a preschool child at home.
- Second, when our sons and daughters enter the school, make ourselves seen, be part of school life, be helpers in their education, not delegate our responsibility, help pull the boat with the teachers, teachers and teachers, who are definitely people like us, with our weaknesses and who are also fathers, mothers, sons or daughters.
- Be attentive to school life, to all situations that may arise. When we go to pick up our sons and daughters, do not promote situations of discomfort, misunderstandings or meaningless gossip. Monitor the environment of our sons and daughters, see how they behave with their classmates, see how the other fathers and mothers act and if we notice anything anomalous, bring it to the attention of our son’s tutor so that it can be observed and prevent.
- Take the instructions of my son’s tutor or tutor as advice, a guideline to follow and not as an imposition or attempt to impersonate my father or mother figure.
- In the event of any notice from our son or daughter of an abnormal situation, inform the center immediately, through the tutor. Not letting go of situations that could have been solved and then regretting and complaining for years.
- And to you, teacher, teacher, teacher, tutor and tutor of our children we ask the same: wisdom, patience, help, perseverance, vigilance, affection and above all humanity.